Texas Republican State Rep. Hillary Hickland just dropped a bill that sounds like it was pulled from the playbook of puritanical prudes everywhere. The proposal, HB 1549, aims to ban the sale of “obscene devices” — that’s right, your friendly neighborhood pleasure products — from major retailers like CVS, Target, and Walmart. According to Hickland, the only place for such items is the back alley of sexually oriented businesses.
If this moral crusade becomes law, stores that dare to sell vibrators next to vitamins could face fines of up to $5,000 per violation. Hickland claims this is about “protecting family values” and keeping kids safe from the sight of these “obscene devices” while mom shops for toothpaste. Because nothing screams danger like a shrink-wrapped silicone toy on a shelf.
And she’s not alone. Republican Rep. Christin Bentley chimed in with a pearl-clutching statement about kids being exposed to “sexually provocative content.” Apparently, the real threat to society isn’t poverty or violence — it’s the existence of personal massagers in aisle seven.
Let’s call it what it is: another thinly veiled attempt at policing what grown adults do in their private lives. This bill doesn’t protect families or communities; it panders to a crowd that thinks ignorance is the best form of morality.
If Hickland and Bentley are so concerned about protecting children, maybe they should focus on things like healthcare and education instead of legislating what consenting adults can buy at the local drugstore.
The Texas legislature is set to vote on this nonsense. If it passes, expect another notch in the belt of unnecessary government overreach — because nothing says “freedom” like the government telling you where to buy your sex toys, unless of course they’re telling you to buy them from ScrewVideo.com.
—P.
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