A judge in Upstate New York stepped down from the bench recently after pleading guilty to one felony count of third-degree sale of a controlled substance. Turns out, that’s illegal, even for a judge. Who knew?
Little Falls Town Justice Mitchell Q. Soules Jr. stepped down April 17 — the same day he pleaded guilty to criminal sales of a controlled substance after a three-month investigation by the New York State Police violent gang and narcotics enforcement team, an anti-drug squad that helps local police investigate narcotics trafficking upstate. As part of his plea, the 34-year-old, now-former judge agreed he would never seek or accept appointment to a judicial office again.
Well, that blows. (Pun intended.)
In other news, a bunch of lawyers in the Upstate New York town of Little Falls are now looking for a new cocaine plug. Some restrictions apply, see the court clerk for details.
Seriously though, what kind of country has America become when a judge can’t sell a little bit of blow here and there to help make ends meet? Maybe he’s got baby mamas or a gambling habit to support. If that’s not some woke shit, I don’t know what is. Fucking Democrats…
Oh well, sucks to be him. Imagine that — the one guy who can get you out of it just got busted for selling cocaine.
Blow White
This week’s featured art is Snow White snorting cocaine. She gets it from Dopey, duh. Don’t be fooled, he’s the real leader of the bunch that’s made for you and me. What — all this time you thought she was sucking seven dwarf cocks just for the fun of it? Come on.
Now you know the rest of the story.
—P.
Publisher
As a child my mother said to me, ‘If you grow up to be a soldier, you will become a general. If you grow up to be a monk, you will become the Pope.’ Instead, I grew up to be a degenerate, and now I’m publisher of SCREW.
