Does Monogamy Ruin True Love?

Why are so many people so uptight about sex?

Ninety-nine percent of relationships are defined by sex – not LOVE – and selfishly so. I believe religion, en masse, has corrupted humankind over centuries by programming us with this concept of “monogamy,” –– something that didn’t exist for tens of thousands of years before –– when monogamy is nothing more than a new word for the archaic term, “coverture,” –– the old English doctrine whereby the wife became the property of the husband.

Sounds crazy, but most people still live by this – sure, some of the roles have changed with the times, or reversed, but it in most relationships, there’s usually the ONE person that wears the pants, whether physically, financially or emotionally (or all three); the one who holds the reigns and controls the “vision” of the relationship going forward.

It’s rarely a true partnership. You have the man who’s afraid to watch porn because his woman will get jealous. Or the woman who’s afraid to spend time with her friends because her man will get jealous. Or they’re both jealous of each other. There can be no jealousy in true love. Jealousy is envy, suspicion, being protective over that which you OWN.

No one OWNS anyone in true love. You can’t tell me someone is the love of your life but at the same time you’re jealous when they talk to another man or woman. If you do, you’re just being selfish. You’re not in love, you’re a PROPERTY OWNER, you’re not even considering your partner’s feelings. This is what monogamy creates: a volatile situation where humans aren’t allowed to be the humans we are. We’re ANIMALS, people, we’re innately, hard-wired to be attracted to each other, to have sex with each other.

That’s not to say two people can’t commit to each other. But in order to do that, both must be confident and secure enough in the relationship to not want to break that vow. Under this current “law” of monogamy most people are programmed to adhere to, however, I think most commit because there’s NO OTHER CHOICE. No one wants to be alone; no one wants to die alone –– so they LIE to each other and commit. Then they’re forced to throttle or hide their true sexual desires until 5, 10, 20 years later, it explodes …or implodes.

To truly love someone, you have to be OK with EVERYTHING. You have to have the confidence and respect for each other to understand each others’ sexual desires and fantasies. If you can’t tell your partner you’re into feet, or you’re afraid to tell them you’d like to have a threesome with both another man and a woman, or that you’re into nylons or cross dressing, or toys, or just watching porn, you can’t truly commit. And if you’re not OK with your partners’ sexual baggage, then you’re not truly IN LOVE with them.

To be truly in love, you accept ALL of it. That doesn’t mean you get to CHANGE them or LIMIT them. That doesn’t mean you get to OWN them or their desires or their fantasies or their actions. It means you have to accept all of it, or none of it. Otherwise, you’re just being selfish.

I know lots of couple who are in open relationships where anything goes, and honestly, these are people who are often more in love than most other people I know and it shows. They have a certain glow to them, a certain way about them, a certain loving openness that you feel instantly. I’m not talking about creepy swingers here, I’m talking about people who understand the concept of love at a much more intellectual and spiritual level than religion allows. Yeah, I’m sure they create their rules and have their understandings, of course they do, so there’s still “rules” to being open, but the primary rule, above all else, is usually that they LOVE EACH OTHER FIRST.

There’s no less a lack of “commitment” in an open relationship than there is in a monogamous one, it’s just that the partners are committed to OPENNESS. Imagine that! You know, that one thing every partner (selfishly) says to the other, “I always want you to be OPEN with me,” which in the typical monogamous relationship is asking for trouble.

An open relationship isn’t necessarily about everyone fucking everyone else, but each person being free to explore their own sexuality and desires – whatever they may be – with the acceptance and encouragement of their partner, without “guilt” (another religious concept) or the other being …jealous?

That’s not a selfish love, like 99% of society seems to understand, but rather a SELFLESS love that only people who are TRULY in love can understand – the way it should be, the way it was for 10,000 years before religion and society corrupted it.

I expect 99% of the people who read this can’t possibly even fathom what I just said – which only proves my point.


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