Banned In China: The Pussy Penmanship of Sun Ping

Perhaps there’s no artist more deserving a feature in SCREW than Sun Ping, the Master Shifu of Vagina Calligraphy, and the Chinese Artist’s Association’s own Public Enemy Number One. Back in 2016, the CAA “abolished” the membership of Artist #3685 — because of Communism, artists have numbers not names (pretty fucking creepy) — and yeah, they said abolished, not revoked, because he pissed them off on so many levels.

Cunt-ligraphy

Sun Ping’s art is rather unique, to say the least. Obviously, he doesn’t have a vagina (at least we don’t think he does) so he doesn’t actually perform the art himself, but rather orchestrates it. He starts by inserting a large calligraphy brush into the twat of his subject (let’s call her the “vaginiste“) who then clenches it with her pussy lips, squats over a large sheet of parchment and goes about drawing the ancient symbols of Chinese calligraphy.

Just don’t squirt!

According to the Chinese Artist’s Association, which was founded in 1949, Ping’s “sexual calligraphy” is “vulgar”, has “an adverse effect” and “inflicts considerable damage” on Chinese society, as well as the association’s reputation. Even better, they said his art “defiles the tradition of Chinese calligraphy,” and is officially banned in China. Oh damn. It’s not wonder he wasn’t executed. (We know how it feels though, SCREW was officially banned in China since 1969.)

Tools of the Trade — Dildo Pens

Chinese calligraphy (not the vagina kind) is a sacred tradition dating back to 4,000 BC. Throughout China’s history, important members of society, from the Emperor on down, were expected to show strong skills in calligraphy writing. To this day, according to Travel China, having mad calligraphy skillz is the Chinese equivalent of an America with a Lamborghini — it adds inches to your otherwise tiny dick.

It’s like a “Pusscasso”

As for Ping, he calls the out-of-touch Chinese Artist’s Association “extremely conservative” and says he finds all the drama hilarious. We reached out to the CAA for comment but couldn’t understand a fucking thing they said because none of us speaks Chinese. Or maybe we just ordered take-out, I forget.



All of this got us to thinking though — maybe we can get [SCREW publisher] Phil Italiano drunk and convince him to stick some colored pencils in his pee-hole to do some penis art for the website, or if nothing else, a pen, so he can write his next SCREW YOU! with his prick. Even better, maybe we can pay some bootylicious black girl to stick a paintbrush up her bum and do some twerk art. Any takers?

—SM

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *