Bathroom Debate SOLVED.

Here’s a simple solution to the whole bathroom gender dilemma: rather than use strict, binary gender symbols to differentiate between “male” and “female” restrooms, use genitalia symbols to identify PENIS- and VAGINA rooms. If you have a penis, use the PENIS ROOM. If you have a VAGINA, use the VAGINA ROOM. This eliminates any and all confusion, because if you have a penis, it makes sense to use the bathroom designed to accommodate penises — i.e., the one with the urinals. This also helps cut down on long, bathroom-line queues, because no matter what gender you identify as, if you have a penis and just have to piss, it’s far more efficient to just whip it out and piss in a urinal, and more considerate to those with vaginas who must use stalls.

Friends Having Pee Sex in the Bathroom (2023)

This solution simplifies the problem all the way down to the ridiculous and gets right to its core — that it all comes down to necessity. Bathrooms are for pissing and shitting. Forget about gender all together. Though we all may shit the same, people — i.e., humans — with penises and vaginas piss differently, and thus, PENIS- and VAGINA rooms are designed to accommodate genitalia rather than gender. It’s so simple a CAVEMAN can understand it because even cavemen know/knew the difference; the symbols are universal and have been for a million years.

On top of that (and in my own humble opinion), if you have balls, they will, more than likely, at some point during the day, smell like balls and therefore should be confined to the room that smells like dirty balls rather than contaminating the room that smells like pretty vaginas.

Bottom line, if we remove “gender” from the equation and replace it with “genitalia” we can totally eliminate the dilemma of who uses what bathroom because it’s no longer a question of what you look like or who you identify as, but rather, what you got down there in-between. Surely, that’s something we can all agree on.

I await my Nobel Peace Prize nomination.

— P

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