If I had $1 for every time I jacked-off to this Bangles video in the 1980s (90s, 00s, beyond…) I’d have over $1 BILLION, adjusted for inflation. In fact, I just did it again—and like an Egyptian, too. That is, Rosie Palm facing down, because that’s how many Middle Eastern men do it for some reason. I always wondered why, if perhaps it had something to do with hemispherical dynamics, kind of like hurricanes are Atlantic and monsoons are Pacific, or how the water goes down the drain counterclockwise in the Southern Hemisphere versus clockwise in the Northern one. I’m sure there’s a science behind it somewhere.
Anyway, back to The Bangles… that big hair, the bass player with those fuck-me eyes, her ass bouncing around in that frilly short skirt, and — holy fuck — that blonde Amazon chick with the tambourine in that tight-ass body suit. Oh Madonn‘ — I’m hard again.
This is but one of the so many ways music lives on forever in our hearts and minds …and spank banks. The Bangles’ Walk Like an Egyptian will always hold that special place in mine. Shut up, if you’re as old as I am (male or female or anything in-between), you jerked-off to them, too. And if you didn’t, you’re an anomaly, so get your dick out and get to it; you need to catch up to the rest of us.
Trust me, you’ll be glad you did.
— TV
Contributor
Tony thinks his shit don’t stink. He acts like he’s rich and thinks he’s a gigolo, but he’s actually broke and a total loser. He writes articles for SCREW in exchange for the fancy byline and dinners and drinks and whatever other free shit we get.
